GoodBye To You
by Priestess of Camazotz
Summary: Sean Cameron is a guy with problems. Attitude problems. No one seems to be able to change him. But when a girl moves to Degrassi to escape from her haunting past, will the two bind together to solve each other's problems? [Rated for later chapters
1. Chapter 1

It really does suck to be at a new school. It's worse when you're in a different country, far away from anyone you've ever cared about—or wanted to care about. If something happens in your past, you might be reminded about it. That's the main reason why my family moved from Eugene, Oregon to Canada. I didn't bother to learn the name of the city we'd moved to. I didn't do a lot of things anymore, but that's jumping ahead.

Standing in front of my new school, with the name Degrassi in big letters above the doors, I sort of just sighed. I hated being somewhere new. Well, I used to, before I became numb to the world. You see, I suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder. Several close friends of mine had died in a short period of time, in the same tragedy. I'd been in it too, but I was the only one to survive, something I hated the most about myself above all things.

Anyway, as I stood in front of the school, flashbacks of the days before my personal "D-day" flashed before my eyes. Blinking back tears, I shook my head. It wouldn't be a smart thing to start crying on the first day of a new school. Sighing, I re-hardened my heart and slowly climbed up the stairs into Degrassi.

The first thing I noticed as I looked around my new school was its size. It wasn't the largest one I'd been in, but it was a fairly good size. Alright, it was just under huge, but I wasn't going to admit that to anyone yet.

Walking down an almost empty hallway, I was glad that my parents had forced me to come an hour earlier. Otherwise, I would've been late to every class. This way, I could get all the information I could possibly need, and then, hopefully, give myself a short tour of the school so that I could know where to go. After all that, I'd be loading up my locker by the time the other students at the school arrived.

I noticed a large room surrounded by see-through windows and guessed it was the office. Sighing a little, I opened the door and stepped in.

A secretary looked up from her computer and asked, "Hello. May I help you?"

_No, that's what my psychiatrist is for, but since it's your job to ask that, and you get paid for it, I'll answer nicely anyway_, I thought numbly. "Yes. I'm new here, just moved here about a week ago, and I need the…essentials; locker, class schedule…the usual."

She nodded and smiled, "Alright…now if you could follow me, Mr…?"

I rolled my eyes a little. Taking the hat off my head, my shoulder-length mop of hair flowed down my back. Crossing my arms, I said, "Crevan Rader."

"Oh, I'm so sorry! Miss Rader, if you could follow me, I will show you to your locker," she said, looking embarrassed for mistaking me for a guy.

As she stood up, she grabbed a piece of paper that I guessed was my new schedule, but instead of giving it to me right away, she proceeded to walk out of the office. Sighing a little, I followed behind her, uncrossing my arms and shoving them deep inside the pocket of my over-sized hoodie.

The hoodie wasn't mine; really, it was one of my friends…one of the dead ones. I had a lot of their stuff. Since our new house had one and a half stories, and a huge basement, my parents let me have the entire basement as mine. It was built for that purpose, for not only is there this huge living-room-like space, but there's also another smaller, yet still big, room off of it that I use for my shrine. Yes, I said shrine. Each of the four walls is dedicated to one of my four friends. Against each wall, is a small table, that has different coloured candles, making it look even more so. The ceiling had graffiti on it in blood red, which I'd painted up there when we first moved in. The center of the room had a large bean-bag chair that I would sit on when I went in. Of course, sometimes I would disappear on Friday night and not reappear until Monday morning, but no one knew that, and my parents let me.

So, as I followed behind the secretary, the scent of my friends threatened to overwhelm me. I knew I shouldn't of worn his hoodie, but I was stupid and wore it anyway. Shaking my head, I forced myself to count the tiles I stepped on that led to my new locker.

"This is it, number 214," the secretary said, smiling at me.

I just stared at it, and then looked at her, forcing a smile to be polite, though I really didn't care. She went on to explain certain rules, to which I only half-listened. I was busy staring at the number. Two of my friends had been fourteen when they died. _Great, so every time I look at my locker, I'm gonna start to cry. What a great year this will be_, I thought darkly, forcing myself not to glare at the secretary. It wasn't her fault, she didn't know.

"—that's about it, do you have any questions?" she asked, handing my new class schedule to me.

"Uh…" I said, starting out of my thoughts. "Where am I going to get my books?"

She stared at me for a moment, and then blinked. "Oh! I completely forgot. Right before school starts, just come back to the office, I'll have the books you'll need sitting on the counter waiting for you.

"Um…thanks," I muttered, turning back to my locker.

I didn't notice her nod and walk away; after all, I was busy digging through my backpack for a combination lock. Staring at it, I sighed. The part with the numbers was a light blue, the outside navy. Blue had been my friends' favourite colour. Well, three of them. The three guys. I groaned softly and dropped the lock back into the backpack.

I started to unload all my junk into the locker, taking extraordinary care in placing everything just right. I snorted a little. I guess since eating didn't matter to me anymore, the need to have my locker _just_ right did. How ironic, really.

Just as I was placing the blue lock inside the locker, I heard steadily growing pounding of feet on the tile floor. I sighed heavily, and started to make my way back to the office. Halfway into the hall, I was met, head-on, but a tidal wave of students.

Of course, going against the "current", it took me at least ten times longer to get to the office than it had to get away from it. The pushing and shoving of the students left me tired, bruised, and frustrated. I was ready to bite the head off the next person to shove me with an elbow.

Stepping into the little indent to the office, I paused the catch my breath. _I can't possibly be that out of shape!_ My mind screamed. Glancing down at my stomach, I noticed it was barely there. I hadn't realized I was as skinny as I was. Shaking my head a little, I opened the door to the office for the second time that day.

As the secretary had said, my books were in a large, tall pile on the counter. Glaring moodily at them, a door suddenly opened.

Looking towards it, I saw a man who must be the principal stepping out, closely followed by a guy about my age. Sure enough, the sign next to the door said 'Principal'.

"Now, Mr. Cameron, I do hope you won't get in trouble the rest of today, or else I will be forced to give you a detention. That wouldn't be good, would it?"

The guy wearing a hooded sweatshirt glared moodily at the principal. "No," he said sullenly.

Watching, I couldn't help but look the guy over. He _was_ good-looking. But most "touble-making" guys were. It was like another of Newton's ironic laws or something.

Wait. Rewind.

I'd just admitted that he was good-looking. Sure it wasn't out loud, but I still had. I frowned at myself. It had been a while since I'd felt anything towards anyone other than my parents that wasn't sadistic and cold. Something was wrong with me.

Shaking my head a little, I noticed the guy was walking towards me. His glare changed to a look of curious intrigue as he passed me by. Without turning to look after him, I could tell _he_ turned and looked at my back.

Once the door shut behind him, I sighed and picked up my large pile of books and warily headed back into the mainstream, fully ready to fall flat on my face and spill all the books on the floor.

It didn't happen, much to my amazement. In fact, I arrived quickly and in-tack to my locker. Setting the books on the floor, I glanced at my schedule. My first period was homeroom, with…Mr. Simpson. It didn't appear that any of the books matched the abbreviation under the label "Subject". Shrugging to myself, I stuffed my books in the spot I'd "arranged" for them and slammed the locker shut.

Heading for my first class, I wondered if I'd see that guy again. Not that it mattered of course; I couldn't care about anyone again. My still slaughtered heart wouldn't allow it.

This year was going to suck.

Crevan Rader: Welcome to Degrassi.

--

**A/N: **Despite my better judgment, I'm actually starting _another_ Degrassi fanfic. I'm stupid and suicidal. Each chapter is going to be in the point of view of another character, so…it won't just be my character Crevan. Yes, Crevan is a girl, get used to it.

Please RR, but no flames, unless it's strictly constructive criticism. Plain flames will be used in the next chapters for induced self mutilation.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Degrassi. If I did I'd own Marco, and probably be killed out of the jealousy of all the other females out there. Not to mention owning Sean, Craig, Jay, and Spinner. I'd probably let guys rent Ashley, Ellie, and Paige…but that's a different story.

**Warning:** This story contains depression, some self mutilation, problems with mental disorders, angst, and sexual innuendos. _[Which you can't have a story with Spinner in it if you didn't have sexual innuendos.]_


	2. Chapter 2

"Sean! Get up! School!"

I rolled my eyes. I'd been up for two hours already, planning. Scraps of paper lay all over the top of my desk. Sighing, I shoved them all into my old backpack.

Looking at the floor, I grabbed a pair of jeans and a black muscle shirt. I couldn't remember when I wore them last, but it really didn't matter. No one would care, and anyone who did wouldn't matter to me.

I shoved my feet into my old, yet faithful, sneakers and winced. My feet had grown again, I'd have to ask, borrow, or steal money from Tracker; probably the second one.

Heading out of my way-too-small room, I grabbed a hooded sweatshirt, and walked into the main room, hoping to get passed Tracker undetected.

"That was fast."

Wincing a little, I sighed. I should've waited a little, now he would be suspicious.

"Yeah, well, I'm in a hurry," I snapped a little harder than I meant to.

He watched me, obviously amused. "Anxious to go to school? That Emma _is_ having an effect on you."

I silently seethed. Emma Nelson. That name made me want to break down a wall with my bare hands.

"I haven't talked to…Emma…in a week," I spat her name. It was bitter on my tongue—sour even, like expired milk.

"Why? Is she busy with her many campaigns?" Tracker asked, laughing.

She had been busy, but that wasn't the point. I didn't care if her 'Save-the-Trees' club existed or not, let alone took up her time.

In the back of my mind, that annoying little voice reminded me about her dad. He had cancer, and I should feel sorry for her. Sure I felt bad for her mom, but definitely _not_ her.

"We broke up," I said flatly, moving towards the door.

"I see…so why are you in such a hurry?"

"Got stuff to do with Jay." More like _for_ Jay, but he didn't need to know that.

He must have guessed anyway, because he sighed. "If you get anymore detentions, they'll suspend you. You're grades can't take that."

I just rolled my eyes, "You're not my parent, Tracker, so just…go to hell."

Turning to the door, I opened it, stepped out, and slammed it behind me.

That had taken too much of my precious before-school time. I would barely have anytime if I ran, but I had to try anyway.

Breaking into a fast jog, I hurried to school. Jay wanted me to hack into the school's computer and change his grades. I wouldn't have agreed to if I hadn't thought of changing a couple of Emma's too. She didn't need good grades! She was swimming in sympathy. No one would even notice the drop in her grades; they'd probably excuse it off.

Reaching school, I didn't bother to slow my pace. It was an hour and a half before school; no one was even there yet.

"Note to self: Thank Tracker for waking me up so early," I muttered, picking the lock to the front door.

Making sure the door was locked again, I silently made for the office. The secretary was in there. I sighed.

Suddenly she stood up and started for the door. Jumping back, I crouched down. When she passed me, I ducked in the door right before it clicked shut.

I didn't have much time before she came back. Half running towards Raditch's office, I turned the knob. It opened.

Ok.

Time out.

What teacher in their right mind leaves their office unlocked?! Not that I'm complaining…but I mean. He's the _principal_.

How'd he get through college!?

Anyway, back to it. I wasn't stupid so I went in. His computer was on, too. Glancing up at the ceiling, I raised an eyebrow. Someone up there was extremely happy with me. Or was just messing with my head. I shook off the thought, sorta spooked, and went to sit at his desk.

Moving the mouse, I stared as the screen went from black to his desktop. I didn't have any idea that his mind was like any other teenager's was. There was a half-naked model on it, and when I mean "half-naked" I mean it. Half naked. Nothing on top, and a thong on bottom. I twitched, my nasty little mind going to work with the mental images.

Looking for a browser, I saw some with weird names, gibberish really, and decided that was more interesting. Double-clicking on one brought up a short-cut to a website. I shrugged and clicked 'Go'.

Suddenly the screen was filled with half-naked girls. I stared and quickly exited from the site. Another brought me to a gay porno site. The image of Marco flashed through my mind for a brief second. Not a smart thing, since I was already a little pervert. Twitching again, which was annoying me to hell, I exited that too.

I didn't notice the time, or anything else, for that matter. I spent the next ten minutes randomly looking through his files, the ones without passwords. I didn't notice the 'Grade' browser at all.

Suddenly I heard the door open in the main office, and froze. It was followed by four sentencing words:

"Good morning, Mr. Raditch."

_Don't panic. I repeat: Do not panic_

"Too late," I muttered in response to my other 'self'. Great. I'm schizophrenic now.

I quickly decided to look as if I'd just gotten there and exited out of everything, finally glad that adults talk way too much.

I then sat so that I looked uneasy, on the edge, and very deep in concentration.

_If this works, I deserve a Grammy…or Oscar…whichever_.

I could hear the doorknob turn, and knew my heart was beating way too fast.

The light switched on.

"Mr. Cameron!"

Flinching, which wasn't an act, I whirled the chair around to meet a very furious looking Mr. Raditch.

"G'morning, sir," I said, trying for polite. "Did you know that when you're angry, a vain in your forehead throbs?"

His eye twitched visibly and I had to stop from laughing.

"_What do you think you are doing!?_" he practically hissed at me.

"Uh…"

I didn't have time to decently answer. He went off into this half-screaming, half-silent-treatment, lecture mode. I just nodded numbly to what I thought I was supposed to nod too. Eventually I figured I had just told him I had just sat down as he came in, and was _innocently—_yes, that really is there—trying to check grades.

"Whose!?" he growled finally.

"Emma's...Emma Nelson's…she was practically in tears because she thought she was flunking…" I said, making up a quick lie. I was gonna check her grades, but not just that.

His face softened incredibly and he sighed. "I see. Come with me, Mr. Cameron," he said, walking towards the door. "I understand Miss Nelson's going through a lot, and that you feel sorry for her and want to help…but this isn't the way. You should've just told her to check with me herself."

Stepping from his office, I realized what I'd just done. He would tell the other teachers, who would spread it to Mr. Simpson, who would tell Emma.

Great…

I started to frown at the thought of her thinking I liked her again. Just what I needed. Clinging Emma.

"Now, Mr. Cameron, I do hope you won't get in trouble the rest of today, or else I will be forced to give you a detention. That wouldn't be good, would it?"

I glared at him. Not for the sake of what he said, but that it sounded way too much like Tracker. "No," I admitted sullenly.

"Great, now, off to class," he said, turning away.

_Drop dead!_

Looking away from his back, I noticed a girl staring at me. My glare softened a little as I walked towards her. She was new, that much was obvious by the many books she was carrying. Or about to carry.

She was also good-looking. I couldn't place her though. She didn't wear all black, like a goth. She wasn't dressed like Ellie (thank God. I don't need someone acting like my girlfriend). She didn't dress as a slut, like Manny. Or extremely conservative like Emma. Or like any other girls in Degrassi that I knew the name of.

She stood there, watching me out of the corner of her eyes. I turned to look back at her. She dressed like she wanted to. She was wearing a two-size-too-big, black hoodie type thing, tight black jeans with metal loops in the shape of a V going from her left knee, down, then back up to her right one. Her shoes were also too big, skater shoes. Guy shoes. Her hair was auburn with blue highlights. Her eyes were hazel. I blinked again as I walked out of the office and into the mainstream.

She was hott. I blinked. Bad Sean. I had a girlfriend, and I couldn't let myself forget that.

Walking towards homeroom, I knew I didn't need a book. It was Simpson, after all. He'd recently come back to after his chemo or something.

Slipping into a desk, I glanced around. To my surprise, Mystique was sitting next to me. Yes, I know. Mystique is an X-men. Sue me. It fitted the new girl.

"Hey, I'm Sean Cameron," I heard myself mutter.

Wait. I'd just introduced myself to a complete stranger. That didn't happen.

"Crevan Rader," she said, staring at me.

Ok. Studying me. I was trying to hide my sick mind. Sorry.

"Welcome to Da-Grassy-Hell," I said in a southern accent.

She laughed a little.

"Beware him. He steals laptops."

Glaring right at me, from the other side of Crevan, was Emma. I sighed. Oh perfect.

What a great, weird, day.

--

**A/N: **Heh, I updated this first. Ok sorry. _Whole Again_ is next on my list, I promise. It won't be a good chapter, but it'll be one, so don't bite me.

I need help though…shifty eyes. Yes, the almighty Scimitar Nyx needs help. You guys have to tell me which to update next, and no, you can't say the one I just did. So…good luck!

**Disclaimer: **Don't own. Don't have money to buy or rent. 'Nuff said.


	3. Chapter 3

"Emma Nelson get up this instant!"

"Already up, Mom!" I screamed but didn't move from my spot on the bed.

I had been awake since Jack started crying. I _swear_ that kid got a megaphone instead of vocal chords. One of these mornings, I'll call a doctor and schedule an appointment to get the damned things removed.

Not _this_ morning, however.

"Then get up here and feed Jack!"

I mimicked her soundlessly, and then growled. Not "Get up here, feed yourself and Jack, and get to school on time." Not even a simple "Good morning" or "please".

Sighing, I hopped out of bed and made my way upstairs. I had dressed the instant I was up, thinking that I was going to be late. Finally I had glanced at the clock, and literally smacked myself. Not that it mattered now anyway; I'd still be late.

Stepping into the kitchen I found my screaming little brother in his highchair—well screaming. If Jack wasn't screaming, he was hungry and screaming. If he wasn't hungry and screaming, he was just plain screaming. The only time he was silent and resembled anything cute, was when he was fast asleep.

That didn't last too long either.

Sighing, I gave the little guy a half-glare half-smile and moved to open the fridge where I knew mom kept his baby food. Sure enough, there it was. I pulled out a little jar of Gerber's baby food (peas, yuck) and wrestled it open.

Instantly the aroma of cooked, mashed peas reached my nose and caused me to gag. I couldn't _believe_ my mom could _feed_ him this stuff and not have him hauled away by Child Services.

Getting out a little spoon, I moved to stand in front of him and started to feed him.

"C'mon, Jack!" I cooed pathetically, the third time he wouldn't open his mouth to eat it. "It's oh so yummy…" I moved the spoon around like it was a little airplane and, to my complete surprise, he opened his mouth and ate the disgusting crap.

That never worked for my mom. I smirked, feeling the power flow through my veins. I had the control to make him eat the most disgusting thing in the world: baby food. I felt unstoppable.

Until it hit me how pathetic that was.

Sighing, I repeated the plane-movements until he'd finished at least half of the little jar.

"Mom! He's eaten most of the jar of food! Can I go?" I yelled at the top of my lungs, resulting in him starting to scream again.

Wincing, I did the airplane-movements and fed him a little more while waiting for my mom to reply.

"Yes you can, Emma! But remember, Snake and I are going out tonight so we'll need you to watch Jack."

_Of course, you're live-in baby sitter isn't allowed to have a life of her own, perfectly understandable_, I mentally grumbled. Aloud, I said, "Alright, Mom! See you after school!"

Tossing the spoon in the sink, and re-capping the jar, I put that in the fridge. I dropped a couple Cheerios on the little tray in front of him to keep him quietly busy, grabbed my backpack, and started on my way to school.

Simpson was coming back today. Er. Snake was coming back today. He had just gotten done with his last chemo session and said he felt like coming back. I sighed. No one my mom seemed so out of it. She was worried about him. I was, too.

I didn't act like a bitch though. Not purposefully anyway…

Coming up on the school, I started up the stairs. I really didn't want to go to school today. People would be looking at me and whispering questions about my step-dad's health. I couldn't take it if they persisted all day. I'd blow up.

Re-adjusting the strap of my backpack, I took a deep breath, let it out, and opened the door, walking inside. I spaced out a little as I made for my locker, not really bothering to take in what was happening around me. Alright, some things I noticed, but didn't really care about.

Like the fact Manny's red thong stuck out at least a good three inches out of her _very_ low-cut jeans. That her shirt showed way too much cleavage to be in the Code of Conduct. The way she was practically throwing herself at some senior, when JT was across the hall watching her with a disgusted look.

Behind the disgusted look, deep in his eyes, I could see a pain of rejection that I hadn't seen before. Then I remembered that Manny was too much of a slut to realize that JT had true feelings for her, when the nameless senior who probably didn't know her name, only liked her for her body.

I shuddered in disgust at the thought of her body. She used her body for sex, and then _aborted_ the baby she'd conceived on accident. I wondered if Craig ever for killing his first kid. Probably not.

I was making a mental note to talk to JT and tell him Manny wasn't worth his time when I saw the person I least wanted to see (even more so than Manny).

Sean Cameron.

I hated him. Not only did he hurt me more than enough times, he also stole Mr. Simpson's laptop that my mom had given him as a present for going through chemo. I so wanted to kill him when I found out that he'd done it. Of course, by then, everyone believed my step-dad lost it, and that was it. No proof.

Glaring at him, although I knew he wasn't paying attention, I walked passed him and to my locker.

He was probably too busy thinking about which girl he was going to cheat on Ellie with. Yeah, I knew they were going out. Did she really think that he'd change himself that much for her? He's a regular asshole, and always will be.

_Poor Ellie_, I thought as a slammed my locker closed and start for my first class. My step-dad's first class in a while.

Walking in the door, I quickly took an empty seat next to a girl I'd never met before. I didn't really care and just sat there, staring blankly at the black computer screen.

"Hey, I'm Sean Cameron."

Tensing, I looked around for the owner of that name. On the other side of the new girl was where he was sitting. I glared at him for a minute and completely missed her introduction of herself.

"Welcome to Da-Grassy-Hell," he said in a very fake southern accent.

As the girl laughed, I realized what he was doing. He was flirting with her so he could use her and break both her, and Ellie's, hearts.

I had to stop it.

"Beware of him. He steals laptops," I said coldly.

Insantly both the girl and Sean look at me. Sean looks angry and wary, while the girl looks confused.

"What?" she asked, tilting her head a little.

"He steals laptops," I repeated, shrugging. "He stole my step-dad's laptop."

"Emma…" he growled in warning.

Suddenly to my surprise, and Sean's too, apparently, the girl started to laugh.

"You two went out," she said nodding a little. "It's obvious."

I watched as her eyes widened in horror and frowned a little. There was something seriously wrong with her; it was as if she was afraid to be caught laughing. I saw Sean raise an eyebrow.

"Emma, Sean, and…?" a voice interrupted.

We all looked up. My step-dad was staring at us, frowning a little.

"Crevan," the girl offered moodily.

I blinked at the sudden change in her tone. It had gone from being care-free and happy to sullen, cold, and indifferent.

"Alright, Crevan. You're obviously new here, but you two aren't." He looked pointedly from Sean, to me. I sighed a little. "Now, I know I haven't been here for a while, but I am here now and I'm trying to teach. So if all of you…"

I tuned him out and stared at the screen again. So far my day had gone from annoying, to bad. Who knows how far it would sink before I got home and it went to pitiful when I'll be forced to baby-sit my little brother. I sighed and slouched in my chair.

--

**A/N: **I promise, Emma's the last POV for the morning. The next person's will come from a different part of the day, seriously…

I had to put her in there since she was already tied in with Sean and Crevan. Right. I'm done talking now.

sighs


End file.
